Outside of Gravitation
by Ildreen Love
Summary: They don't believe in destiny... still, if they met each other in different times and different places, would they still love each other?...AU one shots, mostly YukixShuichi.
1. Default Chapter

**Genre: **Action/ romance/ fluff  
**Warnings: **None I believe, maybe a bit of swearing but nothing too mayor...  
**Rating:** M  
**Pairings:** Yuki x Shiuchi  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, I want nothing. Read and Enjoy.

* * *

**  
ONE: ****The Persecution**

* * *

The fear in his eyes was so obvious it made him frown. He knew he shouldn't have involved the kid, but now it was too late to regret that. 

Two weeks before, Shindou Shuichi was just another teenager in Japan. Not exactly the average boy, but he could walk down the street without strangers giving him a second look.

And then one day, after staying too late at school trying to do his homework for once, he had met him.

Shuichi wasn't a very perceptive person most of the times, but he knew when someone needed help and his kind spirit often lead him in trouble for that. He just had to try to help people.

The man that fell in front of him was one of those people. Only he didn't want his help. He could be bleeding and beaten up, but he didn't need the help of a brat.

Perhaps it had been that rude comment what had made the teen try harder to help.

Eiri Uesugi was not much older that him, but he knew far more of the hardships of the world that the boy would probably ever know. Unfortunately for the blond man, he had gotten involved with one of the yazuka's leader. And as he had latter found out, they didn't like when he slept with their fiancées.

Yuki, as he was known now, had been running away when he had run into the teen. He had wanted to push the teen and get out of the city for good, but he was too weak for that. So he had been under the boy's care for a while.

How had Shuichi managed to keep the blond man in his house without anyone noticing was something he would probably never understand. A combination of luck and a sick aunt had kept his family busy and away from his room, where the man had stayed.

Shuichi knew that at some point the other man would have to leave, but something within him hurt whenever he thought about it. And when, after a week and a half, the man had announced that he was leaving, Shuichi had understood that it hadn't been just his kind spirit what had made him carry the blond into his house.

That night, he had shared his bed with the blond.

* * *

Yuki had tried to dissuade him, had tried to leave without him and even had threatened him, but nothing seemed to deter him. Shuichi had abandoned it all and pursued him until he had gotten tired of trying to get away from him. Sometimes Yuki thought how lucky he was that no one in his pursuer's gang was as good as Shuichi when it came down to tracking him. 

And now, they were running away, that psycho yazuka and his gang hot in their tracks. Why had he followed the man against all reason and advice wasn't something Shuichi cared about anymore. If the yazuka found them they would be dead.

And so, the fear he was feeling was currently shown in his eyes. Because, outside the building in construction they had just arrived and hidden, Hitaka and the rest of the yazuka were waiting for them to come out.

"Baka. I told you to leave. Why the hell do you have to be so freaking insistent? It's not like I wanted you to be here anyway."

Fear was replaced quickly with sorrow. But... wasn't it better that way?

"How can you say something like that! I thought we- we"

"What? You thought fucking you a couple of times made you somehow special to me?"

And now, incredulity. Disappointment and anger followed soon.

"How dare you? After everything I- ... why are you doing this? Why are you telling me those horrible things?"

"It's only the truth. Now stop whining would you? I need to think a way to get out of here".

"Get _us_ out of here".

"What?"

"You said 'to get out of here'".

"And?"

"I- no... nothing".

He wasn't seeing him, but he knew the boy was crying. He always made him cry. Even Shuivhi was taking care of his wounds, he said hurtful words to him.

"Fine".

A minute or two passed, neither of them speaking or moving, as they knew their time was ending.

"Yuki? Did I... did I meant anything to you? Even if it was just more than a cheap fuck?"

He didn't dare to look when he answered. He couldn't possibly tell him the truth.

"No. Besides you suck in bed".

Shuichi wanted to scream, and cry as hard as he could until he died. But just in that moment, Hitaka showed up.

"Eiri Uesugi-san. We finally see each other again. Were you avoiding me perhaps?"

The tension in his body was obvious in the way he clenched his fist and his eyes narrowed. To the pink haired boy, the body language of the blond was as clear as his own constant ranting.

"Do not worry Uesugi-san. This... this I wanted to take care of personally. So it's just the two of us..."

The way Hitaka gazed at the boy made Shuichi tremble behind him, and for a moment Yuki wished he had never met the boy.

"Mm, I hadn't seen your little companion. Is he your new toy? Are you tired of fucking other people's girls?"

Hurt and surprise filled the heart of the younger man in the room, as he understood finally why they were after the man he loved.

"What? He didn't know? Oh, I'm sorry, I hope I didn't say anything inappropriate".

"Bastard. I'm tired of this stupid chase, so why don't we end this up right now? You against me. That's what you are here for, aren't you?"

"Mh. Indeed. However, since your little friend is already here, it would be impolite from us to leave him outside the party, don't you think? Or you care for him more than you are willing to admit?"

"Let's just get this over with".

Shuichi stood there, in shock as the two men fought against each other, watching every punch, every kick, and winced when the older man pulled a knife out of his pocket. He knew Yuki wasn't fully recovered from his previous injuries.

And then, one punch finally reached him, and Yuki fell to the ground. Blood started to taint the floor red, causing Shuichi to scream. And that made Hitaka remember him.

Slowly, he walked towards the scared boy, the knife shining with the moon's light and the fresh blood.

Yuki watched the scene developing in front of him silently, his thoughts scattering as petals in the wind as the yazuka's boss approached the brat. An animal, primary instinct awoke somewhere within him, and he got up and charged against the brown haired man, while he yelled something he wasn't aware of.

"Move!"

Taken out of his entranced state by Yuki's voice, Shuichi ducked just in time as the other two fell right next to him, and the knife slid by his side towards the entrance. He stared at it a few seconds, as if waiting for it to become alive on it's own and attack him, then turned around to see the fight.

After tackling the man, Yuki started punching his head, as hard as he could, with a rage he had no idea where it had come from, a predatory instinct taking control and directing his attack.

Taken by surprise, it took Hitaka a few seconds to realize what was happening, The blond might have been younger and weaker before, but now, his vicious attack had made Hitaka aware of the strength he possessed. As a cornered animal, the adrenaline had made the blond stronger and unaware of the pain from the injuries suffered just seconds before.

He hadn't been ready for this, as he had forgotten the rule number one when fighting: to not underestimate the strength of his opponent. However, he wasn't the yazuka leader just for the kicks of it. He had earned his place with hard work and numerous killings. No brat like this would beat him.

In a sudden movement, Hitaka took his opponent of him and shoot him at the same time. The sound of it and the smell of gunpowder filled the room and echoed in Shuichi's ears and filled his head with horror. It was all so fast the Yuki didn't even screamed. For a moment, everything was quiet in the room.

And then Shuichi's scream filled it, as he run towards his beloved, who lay on his back, staring at the ceiling in silence.

"Yuki! No, Yuki! Answer me!"

He placed the blonde's head carefully in his lap, near the edge of panic.

"Baka. I told you to leave".

Shuichi gave him a worried smile that transformed into a frown when he realized that the blond was looking at him without seeing him. And a second later, a tread of blood appeared from his mouth.

"Yuki!"

A warm hand was placed on Shuichi's cheek and wiped his tears. Yuki closed his eyes as he began coughing blood.

The teen shook his head in disbelieving, as the laughter of the older man ringed in his ears.

"Don't worry boy, you'll go just after him".

He didn't know where did the speed, the strength or even the courage came from. He had never held any kind of weapon in his hand before. He had never attacked another human being. Still, before he knew it, Shuichi had charged against the man, and the knife Hitaka had used before and forgotten, penetrated one of the older man's sides.

"Wha-?"

Hitaka fell to his knees, astonished by the boy's sudden actions. Before he could react, Shuichi had punched him again, taking the gun out of his hands. He was unconscious just a few seconds later.

* * *

"Hn... what-?" 

"Ssh... don't speak... it'll be fine..."

For a second, Yuki just stared at the boy in front of him, before realizing he was in a warm bedroom.

"Where?"

"Hiro's. My best friend, remember? Don't worry, you'll be safe here".

"We".

"Uh?"

"We'll be safe here. For the moment I guess it'll be fine".

There was confusion in those purple eyes he liked so much. And then, after a moment, joy replaced it and he felt as the younger man launched himself against him.

"Yuki! I knew you couldn't mean those things you said!"

"Baka".

They stood there, as the sun rose, the warmth of the blankets surrounding them as they fell into a blissful sleep.

**FIN**


	2. The Angel of the Dance

**Genre**: Drama/ romance  
**Warnings**: None  
**Rating**: T  
**Pairings**: Yuki x Shiuchi, Yuki x Ayaka  
**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, I want nothing. Read and Enjoy.

* * *

**TWO: The Angel of the Dance**

* * *

The sound of the steps was muffled by the red carpet under his feet. The looks of disapproval would've made anyone else doubt of their decision, or maybe ever run away, but not him. Not today.

"What are you doing here! How dare you!"

The sound of her furious voice made everyone stare in surprise. To face her right now one had to be incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. He knew he was more likely the latter.

"He asked for me".

Those words were said without any emotion in them, but both knew better. In his purple-now-redden eyes the sadness was so easily read that for a moment she doubted that she was doing the right thing.

But she couldn't allow this and he knew it. He couldn't blame her for her behavior either. He would've done the exact same thing in her place.

"You have no right to be here".

He looked at her. She too had her eyes red, prove that both had been crying, and that angered her. She didn't want to have anything in common with him.

"Ayaka-san..."

But whether she liked it or not, they did.

"He gave you everything..."

"What?"

"The country house, his rights over the books, everything he loves, you'll get it. Isn't that enough?"

"I never asked any of it".

"I don't believe you! Don't you dare lie to me!"

"Please, Ayaka-san. Just... just let me say goodbye to him".

She paused for a moment. Could he really truly care beyond the money and the looks?

"Would you give it all up?"

He looked at her surprised for a second before nodding.

"To be with him? Yes. Everything".

". . . Five minutes. Then you'll have to leave".

He gave her a grateful smile and entered the room. It was dark, and he could almost smell the death in that room, but he said nothing. Slowly, carefully, ha approached the bed.

He had promised himself he wouldn't cry in front of him, that he would be strong, but the view in front of him broke his heart.

"Yuki..."

He called him softly by his penname. It was an arrangement between the two that he had respected for many years: on public he called him Uesugi-san, in privet he was Yuki. Never by his first name.

The once blond man opened his eyes and saw him. A weak smile played on his lips as he indicated him to approach more.

"Baka... I though you weren't coming".

He took Yuki's hand and kissed it as he sat on the bed. As much as it pained him to see him like this he would've never forgiven himself if he hadn't come.

"I had to". He smiled warmly before continuing. "I'm your angel, right?"

The man in the bed snorted. The first time he had heard those words had been so long ago...

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Shuichi Shindou blinked in surprise as he entered the dance room. He couldn't believe the king himself had invited him to the royal ball.

He considered himself as just another singer, the opera was his life indeed, but he had never thought he was on the level of the royal musicians. Certainly he wasn't even near the level of the legendary Sakuma Ryuichi. The teenager tried to hide his nervousness as the Prime Minister Seguchi-san walked towards him.

"Shindou-san. I'm very pleased you took our invitation. Perhaps you'll let me introduce you to some friends?"

"O- of course! It's a pleasure to be here!"

His voice had came out a note higher that what he had wished it to, but the blonde made no comments, so he smiled and followed him.

After a few presentations, the Prime Minister directed him towards a young beautiful couple.

"Usami-san, as promised, I'll introduce you to the newest singer of the court. Shindou-san, this is Usami Ayaka and her escort, one of the favorite writers of the king, Uesugi Eiri".

"Nice to meet you Shindou-san! May I call you by your first name? I must say, you are my favorite singer, your voice is simply beautiful!"

"Uh... nice to meet you too, Usami-san"

"Please, Ayaka will be just fine".

Shuichi never answered her. Ever since the moment he had met the eyes of the blond, he couldn't say a word. He just stood there, as the gaze of the blond man penetrated him and reach something deep in his heart Shuichi had no idea existed before.

"Oh, Eiri-san, the dance is starting. Could we dance this song please?"

And just like that, the blond man was gone, and Shuichi was left staring at them.

.-.-.-

The fresh air from the garden gave him peace. He was barely aware of what had happened after that encounter. Suddenly, meeting the king and singing for him in the royal ball didn't seem so important. That man's eyes...

"Hn".

That was his greeting. Shuichi learned that day that Yuki wasn't very fond of words unless it was for writing them.

"Oh... he-hello. I- I mean... shouldn't you be with Ayaka-san?"

"Is my presence disturbing you boy?"

"Ah? Oh, no! I just... well..."

"Liar".

"What? I'm not a liar! And I'm not a young boy!"

The man smirked to him and approached, making him step back against a tree.

"You are lying again. If I'm not disturbing you why do you react this way when I touch you?"

And as to prove his point, he placed his hand on Shuichi's cheek and caressed it slowly.

"I- what are you doing!"

The smirk went back to the blonde's face as he leaned forward, and whispered to his ear.

"I've been told you are a magnificent singer. An angel of the music they say. Are you gonna be the angel of the dance tonight as well?"

Shuichi wanted to speak, to push the stranger and leave, but his body refused to move, and his 'magnificent voice' appeared to have left him. The blond leaned a bit more, pressing his body ever so slightly against his own, and the boy's legs trembled a little.

"I hope... you will not disappoint me..."

He caressed with his lips the boy's ear, and slowly moved towards his lips. Shuichi was sure the blond would kiss him when he stood up and turned around.

"I wonder if you can truly surprise me, brat".

And with that he turned around and left.

.-.-.-

Shuichi had only felt like this when he sang. Never before had he felt such an excitement, and with so much force.

That night he had been, indeed, magnificent.

.-.-.-

A few weeks latter, he saw the man again in the Prime Minister's mansion, just when the blond went outside towards the garden.

"Uesugi-san!"

He didn't bother to stop or even slow down, but Shuichi didn't care. When he finally stopped, the boy noticed they were far from the others and wondered if it had been a wise idea to follow him.

"Why are you following me, kid? Did you lost your mother and want me to help you find her?"

Shuichi frowned at that, a pout forming in his lips. He didn't take it seriously, knowing now the reputation the blond had.

"I just wanted to know... if you liked my song..."

"Your lyrics suck. You should pick you songs better".

"What! I wrote that song! It's the king's favorite!"

"Well, the king has no taste when it comes to letters, and nor do you".

"How can you say that of the king! He likes your books!"

"Which proves he knows nothing about literature".

For a moment, they both stared at each other in silence, until Shuichi made the gesture to speak, and the blond interrupted him before he even started.

"However..." He leaned over him, just like the time before, only this time there was no tree that stopped Shuichi from running away. After a short pause, and realizing the boy wasn't moving away, Eiri continued. "I did find your voice interesting".

Shuichi blushed as the blond grabbed his chin a bit too roughly and pulled him closer.

"It made me wonder, what a moan would sound coming from such a pretty voice".

And with that he kissed him, hard and demanding, and without waiting for his consent he forced him to open his mouth and deepened the kiss.

Startled at first, Shuichi soon followed the lead of the blond and began participating. Before he knew it, he was being pushed against a near wall, and the other man's hands began caressing his chest. A soft moan came out of his lips.

When they finally stopped, Shuichi was blushing hard, and his clothes were slightly out of place.

"I..."

The blond placed a finger on his lips and smirked.

"Yuki".

"What?"

"You can call me that when we see again".

.-.-.-

From that day, every dance, every reunion they both went, they would met each other far from the other's looks. In front of the rest of the world, they were barely acquaintances, and spoke to each other with seriousness, but in the shadows they would reveal their real selves.

Months passed and Shuichi understood he had fallen in love with that man. His Yuki he would call him. And as his popularity thought the kingdom rose, so did his love from the blond.

Without anyone's knowledge, his lover wrote the songs he sang, and the stories of Yuki's novels were dedicated to him.

After a while, they begun to love each other every opportunity they got. They met before he sang at the opera and between chats with others during the balls.

Life was almost perfect for the singer. Until one fateful afternoon, during a ball, it was announced the engagement of Eiri Uesugi with Ayaka Usami.

Shuichi understood that moment why his lover had been so pleasing during the last days, and why he hadn't been invited to this particular ball. He shouldn't have been there and wouldn't have, but Ayaka had always loved his music and so her parents had asked him to sing for them during the party.

Yuki hadn't noticed him until Shuichi ran out the room. He was in the same garden they had talked to each other the first time, leaning against the same tree, only this time his heart wasn't filled with excitement, but breaking in sorrow.

"You weren't supposed to come".

Shuichi remained silent for a moment feeling suddenly cheated and betrayed by the person he loved most in the world.

"So what? You would tell me sometime soon or you wanted to wait 'till the wedding to see if I realized what was going on?"

"Don't start brat. This isn't the place or the-"

"Like hell is not! Why didn't you told me! Who could you do this to me!"

"And what did you expected me to do! Challenge my father and ask you to marry me! You know perfectly well that's not possible!"

"So then you accepted to marry her! I am not good enough for you anymore? Is that it! You don't want to be with me so you are leaving me for her?"

"You know that's not it".

"No! No I don't! How- Why did you agree to do this!"

"... I had no choice. I postponed it as long as I was able to. My father convinced the king that I need to settle down".

Shuichi's eyes widened in surprise.

"It was... the king order you to marry her!"

Yuki nodded and looked at him. There was sadness in his eyes, Shuichi had known him long enough to recognize that look. He had only seen it once before, but he could never forget that expression.

"I... I guess this means we... we won't... Yuki...I- I don't want to lose you".

"There's nothing left to do brat. I'm marrying her next month".

"I know".

"I won't talk to you ever again after that".

"Ayaka-san... she likes my music... she doesn't know... it's yours as well. Yuki... My songs will never be the same if you leave me".

"Baka..."

Shuichi looked at the sky silently begging for a solution, but deep in his heart knew that there wasn't anything left to do about it. Perhaps he was just asking for forgiveness from the gods beyond the clouds.

"I..." He doubted for a second, but when words finally came out they did with strong conviction in them. "No matter what Yuki, unless you truly want me to leave your side, I'll stay with you".

"What? Are you- Do you realize what you are saying?"

" I'll always be your angel".

.-.-.-

It had been hard to sing that day to celebrate the engagement, and he had fought the tears that threatened to fall down. He had sung her favorite song just for her, in a beautiful and silent apology for what he had just done to her.

He had been there when they had gotten married too. His song, written entirely by him this time, was said to be the most beautiful one he had ever sung. That warm afternoon of May he had wanted to die for the first time.

After that, he had seen him form a family with her. He had stayed away, as far as he could to those children, knowing that he wouldn't have survived to see them call Yuki as their father.

It had been hard to stay in the shadows. Whenever he was with Yuki life was perfect again, but then he had to leave, and they went back into reality again.

.-.-.-

Ayaka had founded out during their tenth anniversary. Yuki had written a song for Shuichi, as always, and Ayaka had recognized it. Just a couple of words, but she had understood immediately. And she had confronted Shuichi that night.

Ironically, that had been one of the best nights Shuichi had had in a long time. Ayaka had just demanded him to leave and never come back, threatening to ruin his reputation in the court, when Yuki appeared. He had seen Shuichi leave followed by Ayaka.

"Eiri!"

The woman was at lost of words under the glare of her husband.

"What is going on here, brat?"

The question had been directed to him, and Ayaka's anger had returned in full force.

"How dare you! I won't allow this Eiri! I knew you were having some kind of affair, but- but with him!"

"So what are you going to do about it?"

Shuichi had been surprised by his lover's calm behavior, but not was nearly as he had been a moment latter.

"I'll tell my father! I'll make sure no one will ever want to hear your songs Shindou! Eiri you must leave him! Don't you see wha-"

"Stop it Ayaka. He's my lover, and I'm not planning on dumping him, so you better get that on your head. I'll leave you first before leaving him".

Shuichi understood that moment. Even if after all those years his lover had never told him, he loved him too.

Ayaka had stormed out of the room, and never asked him to sing for her again.

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Shuichi caressed the face of his long time lover. When he had received his letter he had known he couldn't postponed it anymore. He had to go see the blond and say goodbye.

"Yuki..."

There was no need for words anymore. They had both said everything they needed to say the last time they had seen each other.

"It's been five minutes. Now leave".

Shuichi looked up and saw Ayaka coming, ready to stay next to the man she loved until the end. Of all the things they had in common, what had always surprised Shuichi was that they both desired what the other had.

He wanted to be able to stay by Yuki's side and appear with him in public if he wanted to. To be able to travel with him and meet him at any place he wanted. She wanted to have his passion, and the love Yuki had for the singer. Shuichi couldn't help but to feel sad for her. In all, he had been the lucky one, the one that Yuki had chosen by free will.

Shuichi leaned forward and whispered to his lover.

"I'll always be your angel Yuki... and you'll always be mine".

He was about to get up and leave when a strong hand held his in almost death grip.

"Stay..."

It was barely a whisper, but both Shuichi and Ayaka had heard him.

"Eiri..."

She looked at Shuichi, ready to see a triumphant smile on his face, but he was just looking at Eiri. For both of them, the world was forgotten. This was their last moment together.

A few seconds latter, she saw Shuichi began to cry. Silently, he hugged his body one last time. And then he got up, and looked at her. The sorrow in his eyes made her realize Eiri was gone.

"No... Eiri!"

Soon, doctors, his sons, every member of Yuki's family entered the room. Quietly, Shuichi left the place.

The next afternoon, while Eiri was buried, a sad sweet song was heard through the entire cemetery. Shuichi hadn't sung for years, but his voice was still as clear and beautiful as always.

Ayaka couldn't help a smile when she recognized the song. Shuichi had refused to sing it again after the one time she had heard it. It was the song he had sung during her wedding.

.-.-.-

.-.-.-

fin


	3. Lost Song

**Genre:** Other  
**Warnings:** None  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairings:** None  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, I want nothing. Read and Enjoy.

I felt sorry for Ayaka in the previous one... and this are indeed sketchy, because these are the ideas for longer well done fanfics that I'll probably never write...

**Inspired by:** Gorillaz newest video: Feel Good Inc.

**TO:** **Kadzuki **and **Clari**.

* * *

**THREE: Lost Song**

* * *

Shuichi frowned at the reflection on the mirror. There was nothing he hated the most than to see his once shinning hair completely dull and dirty. Well, actually there were plenty of things he hated more, but right now that was his main concern.

The dark clouds on the other side of the window made him frown even deeper before he retreated to his small bed with a loud sigh. This day appointed to be just another boring, dark and dull day, just like his hair.

_- Shuichi's POV_ -

I hate this place... no, I loathe it. Wait... is there a stronger word to describe it? Hn whatever. The thing is that I hate being here. I'll do anything just to get out. Damn stupid city and damn stupid building.

I wonder how long will it be before one of us looses it. I bet the first one is gonna be Suguru, but who knows, Hiro hasn't looked too good lately. I guess is the weather, I haven't seen the sun, the real one, in months. Also the air is really contaminated, although we've all gotten used to it by now. And let's not forget the fact that we've been in this goddamn room ever since we arrived. Locked in here for months, with no more view that the grayish clouds thought a dirty window!

Maybe I'll be the first to loose it.

Anyway, that was my line of thinking when the door creaked and was opened. We all jumped and walked towards it. The hope reflected on our faces must've been so huge... we hadn't seen another human being in ages!

And there he was, I recognized him immediately. Tohma Seguchi, blond, smiling, all mighty Tohma Seguchi. I couldn't believe it! Finally! This was our way out of this hellhole!

We had seen him in the only channel we were allowed to see on tv. A famous, renown and rich businessman, who went every now and then to places like this and took people out to work for him. If we were chosen for him we could finally leave! God I missed so much to be free...

"So you are Shindou, right?"

He was looking right at me, and I nodded, excited. Ah, to travel and see different places instead of the gray concrete walls, to interact with other people... oh, don't get me wrong, I love those two, but I wanted, no, I needed, to talk to someone different.

The blonde man walked toward me and checked me out with obvious amusement in his eyes. I suddenly felt like I was meat that was tested before being sold.

Which is what I was.

"I'm not so sure..."

"We can go see some more if you want sir".

The voice of our imprisoner made me turn towards him with my hands clutched in fists. I wanted to hit that man so hard... Still I remained quiet. I didn't want to blow this because if I did there would be no hope left for Hiro and Suguru.

Seguchi-san gave me another look and then shook his head.

"It's the best you've got, right?"

"Yes sir".

I watched the conversation and bit my lower lip. We are humans for god's sake! People! Not things! I bet animals get a better treatment than us.

"I've been told you have a great voice. That'll become handy when you deal with him".

I blinked surprised. When we deal with him? Who exactly is him?

"We'll, let's go".

A huge smile reached my features as I realized what that meant. Green fields, the sun shinning, birds singing... the clean air! I missed those so much! To see the stars! To run freely down the street! To leave this prison and this city and be free again!

I turned around to see my friends and then I understood. The way Hiro smiled at me sadly... and, I couldn't be sure in the darkness, but I think Suguru was fighting to keep himself from crying.

"You... you aren't coming, right?"

Hiro shook his head, unable to say a word. His eyes told me everything though. _Be happy. Enjoy your freedom. Forget about this place and move on._

"I- Hiro..."

_Leave us behind..._

I turned around and faced the blond man that had just given me so much hope.

"I- I want them to come with me!"

Tohma Seguchi looked at them and then back at me and shook his head.

"I'm afraid I don't have any use for them. This is a one man thing".

I looked at Hiro.

_Green fields..._

And reality fell over me.

_The birds singing..._

So I turned around.

_A shiny sun..._

And smiled at Seguchi.

_And the warm air of summer nights..._

"Thank you for your offer, but..."

_And the promise of meeting that someone special again._

"I can't leave".

Everyone stared at me, I could feel the confusion on their faces even with my eyes closed. When I opened them I had a defiant look in my eyes that I hadn't had in such a long time.

"I don't understand. You want to stay on this rotten place?"

"No, but... they'll be lost without me".

I gave a look over my shoulder before continuing.

"Hiro is so patient and so calm, but he gets bored easily. And Suguru is just a brat that will loose it when he has no one to fight with anymore".

"We've been here for so long, Hiro and I, that sometimes it's hard to remember how it's everything outside. But we try hard to not forget. However Suguru... he was brought here long before us, when he was just a little child. He doesn't remember what it's like to walk under the cherry trees when they are blossoming, or the way stars shine in the darkest nights without moon".

I smiled softly at those memories. Yes, Hiro and I had been once normal children, long before the war, long before the slavery.

"Hiro is very good at teaching stuff, but he can't describe the feeling of joy that brings the laughter of little kids. Or the warmth of a mother's embrace. I'm better at that. And if I leave they'll have nothing to remember that, and I want them to remember".

I looked at my left arm, where a number reminded me of the family I had long lost. Hiro and Suguru were all I had now. I wasn't abandoning them. And under the number there was something else, a little mark we had made ourselves.

"Also... we promised we would leave together. I promised Suguru I would show him the beach and Hiro promised he would take us to see the fireworks".

Tohma Seguchi gave me a small smile. I couldn't tell if he was sad or slightly proud of my words. But I'm sure he understood.

"I see. It's a shame, Ryuichi would've been really happy to have you as his playmate. I'm sure you two would've gotten along pretty well".

And with that he turned around and left. The other guy gave us a look before shutting the door closed. The dim light that had entered from the hall disappeared in an instant.

"Shuichi what have you done?"

Hiro's voice didn't sound pleased at all, but I knew better.

"You moron, what the hell are you doing? We don't need you here! And I'm not a stupid brat like you, you know!"

I turned around and smiled at them. As I thought they were both crying.

"Shuichi... that was probably your only chance to get out..."

"I know Hiro but... what's freedom without someone to share it with?"

"I thought that was said for happiness ".

I looked at Suguru and then, walking to my usual spot next to the window and getting ready for a long talk about our memories of the outside world, I answered.

"Isn't that the same for us?"


	4. Innocence

**Genre:** Drama/Angst?  
**Warnings:** Death.  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairings: **Yuki x Shuichi  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, I want nothing. Read and Enjoy.

_L2SET_, thank you for your kind words. _Guren_, my faithful reader, thank you too._bLaCkFaia-nEkO_,thank you and as many as my muses tell me to do. _SMDSP_, thank you and I'll be waiting to read your story.

**Extras:** This is the second part of Lost Song... and the beggining of it. Weird uh?

**I HATE WAR. I find it useless and brutal. I do believe there are some things worth fighting for, but it's always the innocent who get the worst part. I might be wrong, but to me war was, is and always be a waste of human lives.**

**

* * *

FIVE: Innocence.

* * *

**

Bloodstains shimmered slightly under the moonlight as he walked by. There was too much blood in there for a small house on the country, some of it was old, some of it was new; but it marked the walls and the floor, and even the ceiling at some points, and gave the living room an eerie feeling.

Still, he continued walking, looking. The female body appeared so suddenly that he almost tripped with it. She must have been running towards the back door when she shot by the position of the body. Dead, just like everything else in the little town.

He was about to go back when he heard a sound coming from the storage room on his left. Could it be there was someone still alive in there? He considered for a moment if he should go to the senior officer and ask him to check it for him. After all he wasn't even supposed to be there and he knew the officers would be more than happy to take him out and have an excuse to send him home... no, he wasn't leaving until he found what he was looking for.

He remembered the lessons of his Uncle Claude and prepared himself to enter. As he closed his eyes and inhaled slowly he wondered if he would die there. The war was so close there was always the possibility, and he wasn't a skilled soldier like the rest of the man outside. Well, he wasn't scared.

With a kick he opened the door and directed his gun towards the source of the sudden gasp. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness but when they did, he lowered his gun. In front of him, a child with brown hair and big purple eyes stared at him, holding his knees against his chest in a protective gesture that revealed how scared he was.

It wasn't until he put the safe to his gun that the kid really relaxed. He even smiled.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I'm waiting".

"Waiting? What are you waiting for?"

"My mom. She told me she would come back."

He remembered the woman on the kitchen floor and frowned. Having lost his own mother not too long ago he didn't like the idea of telling the kid she was dead.

"What's your name kid?"

"I'm Shuichi! And I'm not a kid, I'll be twelve...uh... well I'll be twelve soon!"

The sweetness of the child made him smile softly. He reminded him of someone...

"What's your name?"

"I'm Eiri".

"Eiri? That's a japanese name... are you japanese? Because you don't look like it, you look like an angel".

"An angel?"

Eiri couldn't help to stare at the boy in surprise. People were often afraid of him for the way he looked, especially for his eyes, and this kid was telling him he looked like an angel. He was definitely beginning to like Shuichi.

"Yes, my mom used to say angels always come when we need them".

"Well, I'm not angel, but I'm taking you out of here, so come on, let's go".

"Really? ... Wait, we can't leave them!"

"Them?"

"Yeah, look".

Shuichi took a match out of his pocket and lighted a small candle, before signaling him to the far east of the storage room. There, a couple of young boys lied on the floor.

"The older on is Yuuzi, and the younger one is my best friend, Hiro. Yuuzi got hurt when he brought us, and mom told me to take care of him, but we ran out of food and Hiro got sick".

Eiri approached the boys and frowned, feeling suddenly sad. The older one couldn't be much older than him, while the younger one was definitely Shuichi's age. And even if the subtle smell hadn't told him, the wounds of the older brother and the blood around him made it obvious he was dead.

The younger one was barely breathing. He turned around, ready to tell Shuichi there wasn't hope for them, but the look of innocence in his eyes took the courage out of him.

"What are their names?"

"Hiro and Yuuzi... they are gonna be fine, right?"

"... We have to go. Come, I'll carry your friend Hiro".

"And Yuuzi?"

Eiri grabbed the red haired boy, stood up and turned around before answering, not looking at Shuichi.

"There's nothing I can do for him anymore".

He looked at the boy expecting him to cry, but instead there was a sad smile in his face. It gave Shuichi a mature look that, for a child like him, could probably only be achieved during war. Eiri wondered briefly if his own brother would look like this.

"I knew there was something wrong when I couldn't wake him up, I guess I just didn't want to tell Hiro".

"Let's go".

Eiri was about to push him towards the exit when he remembered. The woman was still lying there, covered in blood, in the kitchen floor.

"Close your eyes".

"Uh?"

"Hold my hand and close your eyes, don't open them until I tell you so, alright?"

"... ok..."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"So, why are you here?"

Eiri watched the boy eat fast all his food and chuckling he offered some of his own. Hiroshi, the younger brother's full name, was resting in a tent not far away, and Eiri had been happy to inform Shuichi that the boy would recover completely. The look of joy in his eyes had made the trouble he had gotten into all worthy.

"I came looking for something".

"Really? What?"

He considered if he should tell him. In the twenty-four hours he had been with the boy he had discovered, to his amazement, that Shuichi was as naive and cheerful as he looked, but still held wisdom far beyond his years.

"My little brother was sent here just before the war reached this place. He's only eight, but my father considered it was time for him to start his training in a temple nearby. Five weeks ago we received a letter informing us that the temple had been attacked and that my brother was killed...but I refuse to accept that. I know he's still alive that annoying brat. He's too smart to get killed here".

"... I..."

For a moment, Shuichi looked like he was about to cry. He had that look again, a sad look, the look of a man that has seen too much death and suffering. Eiri hated that look, but it was gone before he could say anything.

"There were many temples here, before the war. Which one was your brother in?"

"Qing Yuan".

"Really?"

Shuichi stood up and walked towards the edge of the cliff where the camp was. He surveyed the destroyed city for a moment before signaling a house.

"That was my house. Three blocks down the street then turn right and walk five more... You can go through the park though and take a shortcut at Otogi sensei's house. He always gave us a hard time, but I think he enjoyed it as much as we did."

"You know the temple?"

Incredulity was drawn in his face so clearly it made Shuichi smile. He knew that path like the back of his hand, since he had walked it one too many times trying to catch a certain someone.

"I... I had a little sister. She wanted to enter the temple and become a priestess, but mom and dad told her she was too young, so she always escaped and went there. I had to track her down and bring her home that... Hiro had gone with me, so we got caught in the middle of the first attack. When it ended we went looking for her, but it was all destroyed. I recognized some of the boys there..."

Shuichi's voice became a whisper as he began sobbing uncontrollably. They had been just kids, not much older than himself, still they had been butchered like animals. Shuichi remembered clearly the panic he had felt when he hadn't found her, the chaos, the pain... the faces of the kids he used to play with and the screams of horror and suffering.

A pair of gentle arms hold him and he began crying. He hadn't done it ever since, too shocked too react until now. There hadn't been any time for it either.

"She... she... we found her two weeks latter... Yuuzi went with us... h-he w-was trying to take us home and- and... they attacked again a-and he g-got shot- he –he said he was fine but- but now he's gone... now it's only Hiro and me..."

Eiri hold him as he cried, trying to soothe him as much as he could. He had been in the field only two weeks and the horror war brought with her was almost too much for him. If he hadn't been so determined to find his brother he would have left a week ago.

"What was her name?"

"Uh?"

"Your sister... what was her name?"

"Maiko..."

"My brother is Tatsuha".

For a moment, they looked each other and an understatement beyond words appeared between them.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The attack was so sudden and so brutal no one even saw it coming. There was panic in his hearth as he run towards the tent where he knew Shuichi and his friend were sleeping. He never reached it though. He was hit from behind by another man and fell unconscious to the ground.

He spend the next few months in a prison, until his family managed to release him. And for the next few years he dreamed every night with a pair of amethyst eyes and a sweet smile and wondered if he had saved the boy only to leave him for a worst destiny. How he wished Shuichi was still alive.

* * *

Shuichi woke up that morning feeling strangely happy. He had had a dream about the war, which were never pleasant, except this time _he_ had come to save him. Somehow after all this years he still remembered the smile that boy had given him when he had found him hiding in the storage room of his house. 

He looked over the beds next to his own and smiled when he saw his friends. He didn't regret staying with them. Maybe he had said they would be lost without him, but it was probably the other way around. Besides Hiro and Suguru were the only ones he trusted to help him find the blond man.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Are you sure of it?"

"Yes. Amethyst eyes and brown hair. A number placed on his arm. Good singer. Isn't that the way you described it?"

"Him, Tohma, he's a human being".

"Of course, I'm sorry. It's just... it's been too many years, how can you be sure he's in that specific prison?"

"I know it. And we have already searched on all the other ones. If he's still alive this must be where he's been all this time".

"I see. But he refused to leave without his friends. What are you going to do about it?"

A small smile appeared on his features as he dismissed his old friend. It was good to know Shuichi was still as loyal as before.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Come on Suguru!"

"No. I won't help you interpret this crappy play. Not this time"

The younger boy walked away and installed himself on the farther corner of the floor. Shuichi and Hiro exchanged glanced before sighing and walking to the opposite window.

"He's not getting any better Hiro. I'm worried about him".

"I know... maybe it's time for a new plan".

"You think we should? I mean I'm not sure if he's ready".

"Well, we can always wait more... but you know what's gonna happen next, the day he loses it there won't be any turning back".

"... You are right... I guess it's time to use plan B. Let's get out of here Hiro".

--

**TBC**


	5. Sacrifice

**Genre: **Drama/Romance  
**Warnings: **None  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairings:** Yuki x Shuichi  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, I want nothing. Read and Enjoy.

Last time I forgot to answer... in The Angel of the Dance Yuki died because of his age. And Kadzuki... baka indeed > D  
Although... comming soon some one shots realted to each other... not telling more...

**Inspired by:** No idea. My own wild imagination I guess

**

* * *

FOUR: Sacrifice**

* * *

"Will anyone come forward for this man?"

The question echoed in the almost empty room, silence being the only answer. Eiri didn't even bother to look up. He knew this would only cause more grief to his family. Being there and not being able to do anything... that must have been killing them, especially his sister and her husband.

There wasn't anything anyone could do now. He had committed the only crime that would not be forgiven; the only crime punishable with death: he had killed another man.

"Isn't there anyone willing to come to his aid?"

The blond almost snorted at this. Even if someone cared enough, the risk was too high. He had not only killed another human being, if you could call that man a human being, but he had killed the Supreme Judge's elder brother.

Yoshiki Kitazawa smiled. He hadn't been too fond of his brother, but still, family was family. And the personal grudge he had with the older Uesugi brother made things a lot easier.

Still, he had expected someone to rise when he asked the question. To ask three times, as the old costumes dictated. Then, he would be able to kill this man.

"Won't anyone come help him?"

Silence filled the room again. The younger Kitazawa glanced towards the blonde man and felt the sweet victory finally arriving to him. He had waited for this moment for a long time, a really long time. The death of his older sibling had only rushed his plans a little bit.

He surveyed the room, and watched for a second at the family sitting in the nearest bench. He did not felt pity for them. They were all cowards, they cried for the man in chains, but did not dare to come forward to help him.

Eiri didn't look up when the question was asked for the last time. He knew if they could they would all jump in and save him. But his father was too old and his brother to young for this. The only ones left were his sister and her husband but... she was pregnant. The last time he had seen them he had told them he did not want them to risk the baby for him, because that was the price they would have to pay to keep him alive: his life in exchange of what they loved the most.

The Supreme Judge walked towards the center and prepared to make his announcement. He had won. Eiri would finally die all because _he_ hadn't showed up. To think Eiri had preferred _him_ when _the boy_ wouldn't even show up to save him...

Yes, the true reason he had been so eager to start the trial was because he had once loved the blond writer. After all, no one could hate something with such intensity without loving it first.

"No one has spoken in your behalf. Now you will be-"

The doors opened in that moment, and a young man entered running, followed closely by some guards. Every one stared at the scene for a moment, and even Eiri, who had promised himself not to look up, was watching in surprise.

The guards finally caught him, but Yoshiki made a sign for them to release him. He had waiting for this, he wanted the boy to be present, and see him cry when his beloved Eiri died in front of his eyes. After all, there was nothing the boy could offer to equal the price of his life. Shuichi Shindou was only an apprentice of the Shinigai Temple, and the rules prohibited them to have any material possessions. What could he possibly have to give in exchange?

"Is there something you have to say? Or you have just come to presence the end of this trial?"

Eiri stared at the boy in completely shock. Why was he here was beyond his understanding... until he saw the look in his eyes, it was the same look he had whenever he was about to do something incredibly brave or stupid.

And he feared it was the latter.

"I have come to save his life".

"I see. I'm sure you are familiar with the procedure, are you not?"

The sarcasm in his voice was barely noticeable, but Eiri frowned when he heard it. He knew Yoshiki and there was something wrong with the whole picture. Why was he feeling like this, fearing for the safety of the brat?

"I do".

"Then come forward".

Shuichi walked towards the taller man and stopped a few meters away from Eiri. The writer couldn't help to notice the boy hadn't looked at him once since he had arrived.

"Will you pay the price for saving his life? Will you give up that what you love the most in order to help him?"

Shuichi closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened Eiri realized the boy had been crying. Was it because he knew he couldn't save him? Or because... when he realized what was about to happen he almost screamed. But he wasn't allowed to speak, and he could only watch helplessly as his latest lover, the one he used to consider a toy, risked it all to save him.

"I can't".

Yoshiki stared in confusion for a second before feeling anger creeping over him.

"You can't? Is that the answer to this sacred council? Why have you come then? Why are you wasting our time?"

"I... I just..."

And then Shuichi looked at him. The sorrow in his eyes made Eiri wince. Why was he doing this? Why did he care so much?

For a moment Shuichi looked like an abandoned child, which wasn't so far from the truth, before he smiled with determination. He had cried all night because of this, because he knew what had to be done. Now he was done with the crying, he was ready to let go.

"I can't give what I love the most... because it's him".

The gasp coming from the family of the writer wasn't exactly inaudible, but Shuichi ignored it and continued.

"I came here because I realized he's my most precious one..."

"Then how-?"

"My voice".

Eiri tried to scream, to release himself from the chains, in an useless attempt to stop him, to tell him he wasn't worthy, but it was already too late.

"Your voice? How could that pay the price for his crime?"

On a bench far away, a brown haired man sighed and began to leave. There was no need for him to stay anymore. He had only come to support his best friend. Shuichi was like a brother to him, and it hurt him to see him giving it all up for that man that didn't even loved him back...

How Hiro hoped he was wrong.

Shuichi reached under his shirt and took a golden and silver pendant with the shape of a phoenix. Everyone stared in confusion but three men. Eiri already knew what was coming. Hiro shook his head and Tohma, Eiri's brother in law, smiled sadly in understanding.

Seven years ago, the legendary Sakuma Ryuichi had suddenly left the city, leaving the city without anyone with the power to open the gates behind the Shinigai Temple. His voice had been the only one that could do such thing, but still, he had left. For years people had searched for the prodigious singer, that could let them enter to the temple and guide them to the most powerful weapon ever.

Tohma had been friends to the singer before he left, and suspected that it had been because the greed of mankind that he had left, so no one could reach such power, not even himself. Indeed, the temptation must have been too strong for the man to resist, or he would have not left without a word. The only thing he had done before leaving was giving his medallion to the one he considered being worthy enough to be his successor.

Tohma himself had searched for the new owner of the medallion, but his efforts had been fruitless. Until now. How ironic that the only one who could reach such magnificent power was willing to give it up to save the man Tohma himself couldn't protect.

"I'll give my voice in exchange of his life".

Eiri shook his head, but Shuichi was no longer looking at him.

No one moved for what seemed an eternity. Yoshiki finally understood what the boy was doing and had to make an effort not to laugh at the stupidity of the boy. He was giving him the power to rule the city in a golden plate!

"Is this your final decision?"

Shuichi nodded and then closed his eyes. He knew his sacrifice would be received, and with that, he would prove Eiri was worth forgiving. If someone could give what he loved the most to save him, wasn't he worthy of a second chance? To Shuichi the philosophy of his people had never been truer.

"So be it. Shuichi Shindou, the council accepts your sacrifice".

And then, with a swift movement with his wand, Yoshiki cast a spell on him, and in a matter of seconds a dark blue light surrounded the boy.

Shuichi didn't even cry.

Eiri closed his eyes and, for the first time in his life since his mother's death, felt his eyes sting with warm tears. When he opened his eyes he found himself staring directly in a pair of amethyst eyes.

He didn't realize when the chains were removed, or when his family rushed towards him. He could only stare those eyes. And then, he saw him muttering something, something he realized he would never hear from the boy again.

_'I love you, Eiri'._

With that, Shuichi turned around and walked towards the entrance, where his best friend was waiting. Eiri watched him leave without being able to move. He didn't saw Shuichi collapse just outside the building, or the tears Hiro tried to wipe away, but he knew what he had to do.

Without a second thought he began running to where Shuichi had left, ignoring the screams from his family, the guards or the council. He had to catch them, he had to... he had to... do, say something, anything.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Shuichi lied on the bed, his eyes closed and his breath slow and steady. On the edge of it, a blonde man observed him. Shuichi's friend had explained to him that the brat didn't want Eiri to stay with him as a payment for what he had done...

The stupid brat didn't want to become a nuisance for him, or make him feel obligated to anything.

For a second Eiri contemplated if that was what it was... if he had brought the boy with him because he felt he owed him something...

But in that moment, when Shuichi had entered the Council's Hall, he had felt something... he had been glad Shuichi was there, that he could see him a last time before his sentence was carried on.

Allowing himself a small smile, the blond man leaned forward and kissed the boy. He would certainly miss the endless chattering from him, as well as the comfort of his old residence now that he had been banished from the city, but as long as the brat was around he felt it wasn't so bad.

0o0o0o0o

Far away from where the two lovers now slept in silence, a cry of anger echoed on the temple... Yoshiki Kitazawa had just understand... Shuichi's voice was useless to him if he didn't know the words he needed to say.

He had had them and had let them go. He hadn't killed Eiri, and didn't posses the power either. He had ordered the guards to kill them if they ever approached the city again, and with that, the chances of getting what he wanted had disappeared in front of his eyes.

He had won nothing.

**FIN**


	6. Cold Heartache

**Genre:** Angst/Drama/Romance  
**Warnings:** None  
**Rating: **T  
**Pairings: **Yuki x Shuichi  
**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, I want nothing. Read and Enjoy.

Guren, Bram, I'm just mean like that, but I'll update soon. Tammy-love,you'll find out soon. Suckers love, I'm on it. Ashley Vulpix, I appreciate your comments I do my best to stay away from writing that kind of scene. In Spanish? Well, stay tunned to find out.

**Inspired by:** Kadzuki-san... and a mental picture of a lily covered by snow that I never got to put on the fic...

**Extras: **Prologue of Sacrifice. Wasn't supposed to be posted, or writen, so thank Kadzuki for that. I must say I surprise myself sometimes.

**

* * *

****SIX: COLD HEARTACHE

* * *

**

Slowly, the snowflakes began covering the already white ground. Not a soul could be seen, as the freezing wind engulfed everything on its path.

A small ray of light lingered for a moment on the road, before the dusky clouds made it disappear.

The weather had been becoming increasingly rougher, as if the winter wanted to hide all beautiful things and cover them with it's cold frost. Everything seemed death, the only movement made by the white pieces of heaven falling down to Earth.

And then... the sound of the hurried steps invaded the taller tower of the castle. Fast, getting closer to the top where the study was located, the steps faltered for a moment before continuing in the shadows, between stone walls, and the sound of a raged breathing could be heard.

_'Faster, faster, I need to go faster...'_

No words were said, but from his pale lips the words were formed in a silent plea.

_'Let me be there before anything happens, before it's too late...'_

The frozen air flowed against him, making him shiver under his thin robes, yet he didn't stop. His chest hurt from both the effort of climbing the highest tower and breathing the cold air, yet... he didn't stop.

He could no longer feel his feet, his legs were getting number with very step he took, but he couldn't stop, he had to reach his goal on time, the consequence of his failure was too horrifying to even consider them.

One of his feet slipped on the icy step and he fell. A sharp pain made him wince, but he stood up and continued before his tired body refused to stand up again. He feared to rest even for a second, knowing that if he did he would succumb to the overpowering force of nature and freeze before he could reach him.

He could not allow himself to rest, not before he had stopped him from doing the most terrible mistake of his life.

He almost slipped away again, his eyes deceiving him from the safe place to put his feet from the slippery one. The grayish light was disappearing, indicating the end of the day.

_'The end of a life as well?'_

He shook his head and continued his mad race towards the top. If only he had realized what was happening earlier...

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He had seen him for the first time during a windy afternoon, when they had crossed paths under the falling leaves that came with the autumn.

The older man had commented on his light clothing, so contrasting to his own rich and warm robes. Shuichi had smiled remembering him that they had prohibited any kind of material possessions and that, since he was always inside that place, he had no use for that kind of robes.

Shuichi had kept remembering the encounter until, two weeks later, a present was send to him. A warm beautiful dark blue coat, perfect for the harsh winter that seemed to be approaching... and to hide in the darkness as he escape from his home and met that man under the starry sky.

No one had known about it except his best friend. And even though Hiroshi didn't approve it, he still helped him during his escapades and gather information about the blond man.

It had been him who had informed Shuichi about the rumors traveling on the city, that the caravan was back. And for the first time in his life, the amethyst-eyed man had left the place uncovered, in plain daylight, forgetting even the most basic precautions against the weather.

The caravan brought nothing good with it.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

And then... finally, the wooden door that lead to the palace's study, to the place he knew he would find him. Hurriedly, he pushed the door opened and entered, immediately appreciating the warmth of the place.

He was there, just as he had hoped. However, he wasn't alone, just as he had feared.

His eyes grew used to the dim light that entered thought the windows while he took in the mess of the place, and his beloved covered in blood.

There were no words said. There was no need for them either, Shuichi had made his reason of pride that he could understand the rich writer without him saying a word, and now that seemed truer than ever.

He walked towards him, carefully avoiding the pools of blood and the stiff limbs of the man. Not even once he stopped looking at those golden eyes.

As he kneeled down in front of him, and removed the stained weapon of his hands, Shuichi wondered, not for the first time, why did the blond had gotten involved in this. There was a strong pain in his heart as he noticed the drying tears on his beautiful face.

_'Why did you do this... Eiri...'_

The night had fallen, and with it, a storm had unleashed itself. Dark snowflakes that entered through the opened door carried by the wind. Shuichi hugged him close and closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

The guards would arrive soon. They would be found and their secret would be revealed. An apprentice of the Shinigai Temple, lover of the eldest son of one of the richest men in town. The famous blond playboy murderer of the brother of the Supreme Judge. Yuki Kitazawa, sinner in disguise, dead.

Nothing would be the same after tonight, he though, as his white thin robes got wet with blood and snow, just as his heart had been stained by both man.

--

--

**The End... and the beggining...**

* * *


	7. Blond Hair, Black Hair

**Genre:** Angst/Drama/Romance  
**Warnings:** Abusive relatioship, swearing  
**Rating: **T... I hope  
**Pairings: **Yuki x Shuichi, Shiuchi x ?  
**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, I want nothing. Read and Enjoy. 

Kadzuki-san, I'm glad you liked it. Guren, thank you, thank you very much. Bram, I love it when you like it, that makes it all worthy. Ashcat, work it's a great place to get distracted, in the last chapter, Eirir killed Kitazawa, which will later leads to Shuichi losing his voice.

And though everyone is waiting to see if Shi leaves the prision or not, I still haven't finished that yet, as I have encountered several plot holes that need to be repaired. Thanks to all those who are reading!

**Extras: **Oh you are so gonna hate me this time... but I love it when you do that, so it's ok. This time we have SHuichi ina very... interesing posision (no pun intended). Sadly, this is only the first par, but do not worry, I'm still writting.

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****SEVEN: Blond Hair, Black Hair

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A couple of dirty blond strands of hair obscured his vision. He, however, did not bother to do anything about it. Besides he was looking at the ground, so what did it matter if his hair covered his eyes?

He didn't look up when he crossed a dark lonely street either. He wished he could say he cared enough for his life to not let himself been run over by a car, but he couldn't. Not anymore.

He continued walking for a while, the cold winter air making him shiver every now and then. He wasn't wearing a jacket, but he didn't regret leaving the apartment without it. It had been worthy, rushing out and forgetting everything but his keys and some money. He had seen him, even if it had been from afar.

He was just leaving the nice part of the city, when a deep voice called out for him.

"Shuichi!"

Across the street a longhaired man, blonder than him, was waving at him. Shuichi allowed himself to smile before crossing the street to talk to the man.

"K-san, why are you so late in the clinic? I thought you never stayed after ten."

The doctor smiled at him fondly. Shuichi was one of his favorite people, always watching over others. It was a shame, he thought, he didn't watched over for himself.

"Ah, but Sakano had a nervous crisis again, so I had to stay."

Shuichi shook his head. From what he had heard, the businessman had a nervous crisis every couple of weeks if not more often.

"And..." A hopeful look appeared on his features, a faint hope that hadn't quite left. "And... Suguru-kun... is he still here too?"

The ex-marine turned doctor chuckled before shaking his head. Suguru had asked him too if he hadn't seen the now blond haired boy.

"I'm afraid his brother Hiro came for him about an hour ago. It was getting late you know?"

"-sigh- I know... K-san are you leaving now? I could go with you to the train station..."

"Nah, don't worry I can take care of myself... by the way why is your hair blond now? I liked it better when it was purple."

Shuichi blushed slightly at that. He too liked his hair purple better, though pink had always been his favorite, for various and different reasons he couldn't and wouldn't explain to anyone but himself. Still, purple had been banned two weeks before. His face fell as he remembered the discussion about his hair and the fight that followed.

"_He_ likes it better this way," he managed to whisper. He didn't miss the way K frowned, but there was no answer to his last words. Finally, after a long silence K sighed and began walking towards the clinic.

"You should go home Shuichi, even you could get in trouble this late... should I tell Hiro and Suguru to wait for you tomorrow?"

For a moment he contemplated the idea of spending the afternoon with his friends, but Shuichi knew after what he had done today... it wasn't the wisest idea to see them so soon.

"I'll come later this week I hope." And with that, he turned around and left.

As he walked down the street, almost reaching the apartment, a sad smile graced his face. He didn't regret leaving so early but... he knew he was in deep trouble. If only he hadn't turned on the radio that morning...

But he had. And the news of his idol recording an interview and giving autographs in the studios in town had been too good to resist. It had been just five thirty in the morning, but he had dashed out of the apartment without even leaving a note. Would _he_ be mad at him for that?

The door opened with a small squeak. Shuichi steeped into the dark living room after taking his shoes off, with the hope that _he_ wouldn't be home. However, when the strong smell of alcohol reached him he prepared himself for the worst.

He was lucky, he thought, when he bumped on the man lying on the couch. The brown haired man seemed to be in a deep sleep. And as his eyes adapt to the darkness, Shuichi noticed the amount of bottles of beer and frowned. It wasn't normal for him to drink so much before the weekend...

He walked past the man on the couch and reached his bedroom, only to return a second later with a blanket and a pillow. He didn't try to carry the man to bed, because he knew that would wake him and, honestly, he didn't feel like arguing with him right now.

So after placing the pillow under his head and covering him with the blanket Shuichi entered the bedroom, not before whispering a "Good night".

It wasn't until he had locked the door behind him that he turned the lights on. He changed his clothes into something warmer and more comfortable and then, pulling something from under the mattress, he smiled and sat on the bed. Placing his back against the white wall, he turned the pages of a small book, jumping most of the chapters and only reading bits here and there.

He didn't stop until he reached his favorite part of the novel and then began reading.

The sound of the alarm clock awoke him next morning. It was five in the morning again, time to get ready for the day. If he was lucky, _he_ would still be asleep, giving him time to take a quick shower and make breakfast before the day really started.

Everything was silent as he left his room and entered the bathroom. He was still tired from the walk of the day before, sleepy and in need of a shower. Also he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast yesterday.

Frowning at is reflection on the mirror he undressed and sighed. He hated being blond. Why had he agreed on try it was beyond him. He remembered the first time he dyed his hair. _He_ had asked why he had done that to his shiny beautiful hair, and Shuichi had blushed.

_He _used to have that effect on him. When Shu had answered that he wanted to try something different the older man had answered by kissing him and making him love as he had never before.

_'Different enough for you?'_ he had asked. _'Next time try another color, red doesn't suit you well'._

The amethyst-eyed boy had agreed and tried blue the next time. Life was good then, and the seventeen year-old was happy he had run from his house to this city.

Shuichi smiled grimly under the cold water. That had been two years before. He had tried several colors for his hair since then, as well as several men and occasionally a woman.

Life used to be good then, when he thought he was making love and living his dream. He wasn't that naive anymore.

Just as that last thought was washed away with the water as he washed his hair the door of the bathroom busted open. Shuichi jumped in surprise before he felt the need to hit his head against the wall. Of all things he could've forgotten it had to be to lock the door, which proved he was more tired that he thought he was, to forget such a basic precaution.

A second later he was being kissed and groped by the older man. He didn't try to resist him, if he did _he_ would get more violent and maybe hit him. And that wouldn't be nice, as it would cause more fights between them.

Instead, he guided him slowly out of the shower and to the other's bedroom, where he forced his body to relax as much as he could. He felt him forcing his way in and tried not to wince. Even after all this time he wasn't used to it, but years of practice had made it easier to hide the discomfort and pretend he was enjoying himself.

It was over a few minutes later. The stench of alcohol made him want to puke, but he keep still and quiet until the other spoke.

"Where did you go yesterday, my little whore?"

Shuichi bit his harsh reply back and instead managed to give him a little smile.

"To town. I had to send some letters".

_He _didn't buy it, he knew that, but there wasn't a better answer. He couldn't possible let him know he was trying to see his idol again.

A rough hand caressed slowly his face before hitting him hard on the stomach.

"Don't ever do that again. I was worried". And with that he left the room to take his hot shower.

The boy felt hot tears running down his face, but made no sound. After a couple of minutes, he stood up and walked towards his room, where he started dressing himself. There was no need to close the door now, he had gotten what he wanted.

After he was done, he went to the kitchen and prepared the breakfast for both.

It was already Friday, and Shuichi spent his day cleaning the mess of the apartment and buying some groceries. He had nothing better to do until latter on the evening, so he turned the radio on and sang all the songs they played.

He was still sore from his encounter with the older man on the morning, but he tried not to think about it. Perhaps he would go to the clinic during lunchtime after all, ha hadn't seen Suguru and Hiro in a long time, and he missed them.

In that moment he saw his own pale reflection on the mirror and decided against it. He didn't feel like answering any questions from them, especially from K-san, who would immediately know what had happened as he had seen it many times before.

The first time had been over a year and a half ago. Shuichi had been so beat up he had barely been able to reach the clinic. It had been a little after _he_ had lost his job and, being drunk and frustrated, had taken it on him.

K-san had taken care of him and then tried to make him go to a refugee, but Shuichi had refused. They had been friends ever since, even though the doctor disapprove the way the boy let himself be hurt by the older man, and cured for free.

Suguru had started to work at the clinic half a year later. He had no idea why Shuichi showed up every now and then for a privet consult, but had never asked. He had been the first friend the teenager had had since he had arrived to the city. Hiroshi had meet him little after that and since then Shuichi had spent an afternoon or two at the clinic helping out and keeping them company when there was no one to take care of.

The blond boy sighed as he threw the last can of beer on the bag. None of his friends really knew where he was from or why he was here. They didn't even know what he did for a living, yet they accepted him and treat him like he was part of their family.

He wondered if they knew... would they still be as nice to him as they were now?

The sun was just setting when he grabbed his jacket and exited the apartment. He arrived at the dirty looking club around seven thirty and went directly to the dressing room to change.

"You are late".

Shuichi didn't turn around as the brown haired man talked to him. He knew himself observed as he got undressed, and felt his hands trembling a little, but managed to get dressed again before turning around to answer.

"My shift starts at eight".

The older man's eyes flashed with anger and he grabbed his by his wrist to pull him closer.

"Don't play smart with me my dear. We've got a client out there, go take care of him".

_He_ was drunk already, Shuichi noticed, as _he_ kissed him roughly and pushed him to the door. Well, at least _he _wouldn't try anything else for the night, as Shu would be with the 'client'.

And then as he walked to the private table he almost dropped the tray with beers as he realized who was the 'client' for the night. Sitting in front of him, talking to one of the owners of the club, was his idol.

It didn't matter that his hair had a different color or that his eyes were pitch black. He could recognize his voice and the way he moved, the way he took off his sunglasses before he turned to look at him.

In front of him, and giving him a wry smile, was Eiri Uesugi, romance writer and the reason he had been out the whole day before.


	8. Broken Dreams, First Contact

**Genre:** Angst/ Drama/ Romance  
**Warnings:** Cursing, nothing you haven't read before, abusive relationship  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairings:** Yuki x Shuichi, Shuichi x ?  
**Disclaimer:** I own a cold. Read and Enjoy

**Ashcat, Guren, GravityNeko, rebelyell59, Pikachu Goddess, Bram, tammy-love... **Thanks.  
To all those who reviewed Crash: THANKS!  
**Kadzuki:** Here, because I'm the Evil Queen. **Ashley:** I sold my soul.

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EIGHT: Broken Dreams, First Contact

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"Is that it?" His idol grabbed a beer and returned his eyes to the main owner of the club.

"You'll get more once the payment is done."

"That's not what we agreed on."

"You are not trustworthy yet my friend. You can't expect to receive more information now."

"So be it." Black eyes stared at him "What about this- this boy?"

"He's nothing."

And that had been it. His idol had nodded and, putting his sunglasses on again, left without even looking at him again.

Shuichi had been in a dreamy cloud the rest of the night, though.

--

Two days later, the man returned. Shuichi hadn't been working that night, but he had heard one of the bartenders commenting it with the others. He cursed and promised himself to be there every night in case he appeared again.

In the back of his mind he couldn't help to wonder what was the writer doing in the lowest part of the city, in a club only criminals and drug addicts frequented; but the excitement of seeing that man again erased it all from his mind.

The black haired man appeared every couple of nights for three weeks at the club. Shuichi had never been happier, because in his mind there was no doubt this was the man he had admired for so long.

Even K, Hiro and Suguru had noticed his excitement when he had passed to the clinic to visit. They had also joked that Shuichi looked like a schoolgirl in love. The blond boy didn't miss the slightly dejected tone Suguru had used, but he pretended otherwise.

Unfortunately for him, his friends were not the only ones that noted the odd behavior he showed. The brown haired man was jealous in his own way, and wasn't happy at all to see him so eager to go to the club.

It had been one of their worst fights in a long time.

The following week, he had worn long sleeved shirts and jeans to hide all the bruises. He had never thanked the dim lights of the club so much before.

Finally, at the end of the third week, when his bruises had started to disappear, he was cornered by the owner and his lover in the changing room.

"Well then, looks like you arrive just in time", Hitaka said. "Go do what you do best, and try not to mess things up".

When Shuichi just stared at them in confusion, the fat man groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Let me" his lover said. The other man nodded and stepped off the room as Shuichi shivered unconsciously.

"I- I don't-" Shuichi stuttered, before the odd look he gave him made him shut up.

"He wants you". The older man said, before he turned around and left.

Shuichi stood there, frozen for a moment before he crumbled to the floor. The way his eyes narrowed and gave him that murderous look... he had never seen him so full of anger before... he had to make a huge effort to stand up again.

After a minute or two he walked towards the bathroom and gasped when he saw his face. He was deadly pale and still shivering.

--

The first time he had gone to that room he had been extremely nervous. Some rich lady had liked him and requested him. He was just eighteen, and didn't really understood what was expected of him when he entered the room, so when the woman launched at him he panicked and almost left the room.

Luckily for him she was too drugged to stay conscious for long, though it took him nearly an hour to get a hold of himself. It had been there when he had understood his marvelous dream was disappearing faster than the jobs his lover got. He was reduced to a slave a dirty club, whose employer lent as a toy to his richest clients.

But he needed him, and that thought had kept him there until it was too late for him to escape. And now he was back there, wondering if it wasn't just a nightmare, if the man he admired the most really had come to the place he worked and requested him as a toy like that lady over a year before.

He felt somehow cheated. Was the writer really just like the rest of them? It was one thing that he went to the club to grab a beer, even if it was his club, but to ask for a whore like him?

And then the door opened. Yes, it was really him, staring at him with those black eyes, entering the room, closing the door behind him.

For the first time in a long time, he started to cry.

Before he knew it, he was sobbing uncontrollably, his back against that cursed bed he feared so much.

He cried for his innocence long lost, for the love he had thought he had, for the dreams he had forgotten, for the family he had abandoned, for the life he had left to come to this city, for the friends he deceived every time he talked to them, for the desire to live that had almost left him.

He cried for the figure in front of him he had admired and idolized so much.

"Are you done?"

Shuichi gasped and looked up. For a moment, he had forgotten about him. He glared at the black haired man and tried to control his sobs.

The man stared at him for a moment before sitting next to him on the bed. He lighted a cigar before offering it to Shu.

"Looks like you need it". He was no longer looking at him, forcing the blond boy to speak.

"I- I don't- don't smoke".

He smirked and took a long drag of his cigarette before speaking again.

"I thought so".

Feeling more calm, the boy sat on the bed as well.

"Why did you offered it to me then?"

He turned around and smirked again.

"To distract you."

Shuichi opened his mouth, but the older man interrupted him.

"Now that you are more calm, we should get down to business".

Blond bangs obscured his already blurry vision as he looked to the floor. He was just like the others then. He only cared for one thing, had only talked to him to clam him enough to get what he wanted.

"What can you tell me of Hitaka?"

"Uh?" He turned his head so fast it hurt. Hitaka?

"About his 'clients', his other business, anything you know".

"I- I don't-"

"Don't tell me you don't know anything. The others already told me you are the only one that gets close enough to hear anything. For some odd reason he trusts you, though you mean nothing to him".

Only then it hit him. He wasn't there for him, he was there for what he knew, it was a well known fact that Eiri Uesugi liked to research for his novels by himself. The smile that appeared on his face was the most sincere he had had in a long time. He had never felt happier, he was not only with his idol, but he would help him write his next novel!

The other man frowned at his sudden change. Maybe the brat was more unstable that what he had first thought.

Shuichi sat more comfortably on the bed, crossing his legs, and breath deeply before nodding and smiling again.

"I'll tell you all you want to know".


	9. One Way Journey

**Genre:** Angst/ Drama/ Romance  
**Warnings:** Not much, just a litttle lemon  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairings:** Yuki x Shuichi  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, I want nothing. Read and Enjoy

**Dedicated to:** _Bram_. I made it one chapter so she won't suffer anymore.  
**Thanks to: **Ashcat, tammy-love, Guren, darksaphire, Bram.

I'm mean, and evil, and confusing sometimes. But deep down, you love me for that. Hehehe, go read now!

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NINE: One Way Journey

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It was supposed to be just another trip. Nothing out of the ordinary. Pick the cargo at Phrynia, one of those little towns far away from the big cities and the real technology, and leave it at it's destination.

Eiri hated those towns. Stupid mass mentality and even more stupid beliefs just like the town where he had grown up. Still, a job was a job, and with someone like K as a boss there wasn't much room to complaining.

He was just outside the ship with the shrimp Suguru, when they arrived. The small caravan made him wonder why they had chosen a small cargo ship like theirs to transport what seemed to be an important personality of the town.

"Hiro look at that! Are we going in that thing?"

The pilot of the 'thing' frowned at the pink haired boy standing a few meters from him.

"Yeah" The guy named Hiro answered. "Do you like it?"

"Do I like it? Are you kidding me? It's great! I can't believe I'm gonna travel in this!"

K went to receive them with Sakano, the always-nervous negotiator of the crew. He was jumpy all the time, but being the second more educated member, he was in charge of dealing the prices and stuff. Eiri didn't really care. He was just there to pilot.

"He looks like a spoiled brat if you ask me".

The shrimp was staring at the boy, who was currently begging his bodyguard to let him buy some candy.

"I didn't ask, and you are one spoiled brat as well".

"What? Eiri-san! I'm not spoiled and I'm not a brat!"

"You'll be a brat 'till you grow up. And your cousin send you here so your parents couldn't spoil you anymore".

The shrimp Suguru was about to retort when K approached them, His trademark laser gun in his hand.

"Are we ready to leave?"

"Hai!" K was the only man Suguru didn't dare to be sarcastic with. Eiri however didn't have such reservations.

"So what's with the gaki? He's our cargo?"

"Correct!"

"What? That's it? I thought we were taking something else!"

K gave Suguru the look before answering.

"They paid us to take him wherever he wants before arriving to Ziridar, as long as we arrive before next month".

"Loaded people, uh? So what's so important we have a deadline for our arrival?"

K looked down the pink haired boy and frowned. The kid looked like a nice person.

"Don't ask. I don't want any questions asked during this trip, understand?"

And with a dismissal wave from his gun, he entered the ship.

"Uh? Eiri-san, what was that about?"

The blond man didn't answer at first, his eyes fixed in the laughing kid in front of him.

"It means don't say a word or he'll blow your head off".

Suguru turned around to tell him it wasn't funny, but the other man's face was serious and he gulped. Whatever it was, he probably didn't want to know.

"Hiro let's go! I want to see my room! You think it's as big as my old bedroom? Ah, I wished Maiko could come with us..."

"Shuichi... I promise, the next time I go somewhere I'll take her with me, how about that?"

"You promise?"

The brown haired man nodded and the boy squealed in pleasure.

"Yay! Thanks Hiro! You are the best! Ryuichi-san let's go! You don't want us to leave you, do you?"

"Ah wait for me Shu-chan! Kumagoru wants to see the ship too, na no da!"

Eiri watched them enter and be lead by the shrimp to they rooms before directing to the cabin. He couldn't help to notice that the one named Hiro would take _her_ with him, and not _them_.

Did that mean that the trip was only one way for the brat? So he was staying in Ziridar for good? Well, it was none of his business.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

A nice quiet trip. Little interruptions and a comfortable month in the ship. That was what Eiri loved the most... and missed the most from the trip from hell they were doing this time.

The pink haired boy, Shuichi or the brat as he called him, had turned out to be a living nightmare to him. His best friend/bodyguard, Hiroshi, was a nice and easy going person. His other friend/tutor? was a weird loud guy. But nothing could compare to the chaos that the brat walked with.

He was the clumsiest person ever, constantly tripping with everything, including one time in the pilot's cabin, causing them to almost crash against another ship. Of course he had been banished from there ever since, but that was just the beginning of it.

Apparently, the brat had always wanted to pilot a ship, and for him it was the coolest thing in the entire universe, and so, Eiri was the coolest guy he had ever met, which obviously meant he hadn't met many people, and followed him like a lost puppy.

His constant ranting never seemed to stop and his questions never seemed to end. The whys and the buts were, apparently, part of a personal mantra, because Eiri had heard those words in a single day with the brat more than he had in his entire life.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the shrimp Suguru kept smirking at him and laughing whenever the brat attacked him with his endless questions.

At least the Ryuichi guy attacked the shrimp every now and then in the same way the brat did to him. At those times Eiri enjoyed the show and smirked back.

Still, those joyful moments were too little in comparison to the torture he was enduring. And as if that wasn't enough, the brat had never been away from his house, so he wanted to see as many planets and to know as much about them as he could.

The pilot couldn't help to wonder when had he become a turist guide, because he was definitely not getting paid as such.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

They had been traveling for two and a half weeks now. Eiri was not used to the attack of the pink ball from hell yet, but he had found out that when asked about his homeland, the boy spoke more like a normal person. Slightly sad, but normal, he had noticed. So he had started to ask him questions about Phrynia.

That had been his first mistake.

It wasn't until too late that he recognized it though. Before the beginning of the third week, he knew the baka had a sister three years younger than him, adoptive parents since he was seven, known Hiroshi since he was twelve, learned all he knew from Ryuichi, that was indeed his tutor.

Suddenly he had begun to care. He paid attention to the boy, even if he didn't seem like it, and explained everything about the ship patiently in return. He didn't even noticed the change until the shrimp commented during a meeting that Eiri would known where the brat wanted to go next and he had answered 'Hoai' without thinking.

He had spent the next hour listening K rant about not forming any kind of bond with the passengers, especially with the boy. That had got Eiri's attention, and he had asked why especially the boy.

That had been his second mistake.

K hadn't answered, but the seed of curiosity had been planted and Eiri hadn't stopped wondering why was that.

They were three days from reaching their destination when he made his third and more stupid mistake.

It was nighttime in the ship, though Eiri was on guard that night, so he was still awake, alone in the cockpit. The sound of the door made him turn around and there was the brat with sleepy smile on his face.

"You're banned from here, remember?"

There had been a strange expression on his face before he had nodded and turned around. It made him feel uncomfortable and oddly guilty, so he had sighed and given up.

"Just don't touch anything".

Shuichi had smiled and jumped on the copilot seat without saying a word. He looked extremely cute, Eiri had thought, under the starry light and on a chair too big for him. For a moment they both kept quiet, staring at the vast space in front of them.

Eiri didn't realize how long they were there, each one deep in their thoughts, until he heard a sob coming from the chair next to his. He turned around and saw the boy crying silently, hugging his knees next to his chest and staring to a far away planet. He opened his mouth to speak, but somehow it felt wrong to interrupt whatever the boy was thinking.

He waited until the sobs stopped to ask, in the most polite tone he had ever used, what was wrong.

Later on he would ask himself why hadn't he just kept quiet, knowing that K never gave an order without a reason, and that, if he had said there shouldn't be any kind of bond, it was because he knew more than them. But that didn't crossed his mind then. All he wanted to know was why the cheerful phyrinian was crying.

"I... I just... I don't want to leave..."

"Leave?" He didn't understand the true meaning behind those whispered words, however that didn't stop him from asking. "Hey you can travel in a ship whenever you want-"

The boy had looked at him surprised before smiling sadly. He shook his head and stood up, walking closed to the controls of the ship. Eiri was about to stop him, but Shuichi just reached his hand to the glass that separated them from the deep space.

"My sister thinks I'm just going away for a while. It won't be until Hiro get's back that she'll know... I broke my promise. I told her we would find our parents together-"

"Mh? I though you were adopted".

He began laughing, but it wasn't like the childish laugh Eiri had heard before, it was more like a bitter laugh.

"Adopted? They- those men... they kidnapped us".

"What?"

"I was only six, Maiko doesn't even remember it. She only knows because I told her... she was so sad... but I had to tell her! She has the right to know! She should be free from those guys and live the life our parents wanted us to!"

He was crying again. Eiri stood up and walked next to him, unsure of what to do. He didn't need to do anything though. Shuichi suddenly launched himself to him and hugged him as he cried even harder than before.

"Hi- Hiro promised he would help her find them but- but she- she won't forgive me- I- I- I didn't have a choice! No one ever asked me what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be! They just- they just took us away... And- and now I left- and- I- I just-"

His sobs cut off whatever he wanted to say. He just clung with all his strength to the pilot's shirt, shaking so badly Eiri thought they would end on the floor. And then Eiri did what he had thought he would never do: he hugged the boy back and tried to comfort him, rocking his slowly and whispering it would be fine.

It took him a few minutes, but after a moment, Shuichi calmed himself enough to look up to the blond man. For a moment, their eyes were locked, before the boy looked down and rested his head against his chest. He had tried to hide it, but Eiri had noticed he had blushed.

"I- I should go. If Ryuichi or Hiro find I'm gone..." He looked up again, the words forgotten as he stared at golden eyes. He hadn't let got of his shirt yet. "I... I wanted to tell you... I..."

Eiri raised an eyebrow and waited. But the boy never got to tell him anything. The second he opened his mouth to speak again, his watch's alarm beeped. The magic of the moment broke, and they let go of each other, stumbling backwards as the realization of what had happened hit them.

The blond pilot looked at the blushing boy, who in return looked down. After an eternity of silence, Shuichi shook his head and walked to the cabin's door.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have come! I'll go to my room now!"

Time seemed to slow down, as Shuichi reached the door and pressed the button to open it. And before he knew what he was doing, Eiri had grabbed his arm and made him turn around, in a sudden movement that almost made the younger boy fell to the ground.

There was a slight look of surprise on their faces before the pink haired boy made the first move and approached the man, his free hand reaching to the other's face. Eiri felt himself tense up at the contact of the warm hand, but kept still. It took them a moment to understand, but once they did, they knew there was no going back.

The kiss was so fierce at first that Eiri wondered if he wasn't hurting the boy. But after a second there was no time to think about it. Hands roaming through heated bodies, clothes being discarded to the floor so hastily, neither of them noticed where they ended; more kisses, this time lower on the boy's body, a moan of pleasure and a look to confirm it was what they both wanted.

Their breaths quickened, and the silent ship was filled with more moans and gasps. Their desperate dance fastened until it was too much for both to take, and with a cry of pleasure, it all ended.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The next morning Eiri saw him briefly during the breakfast. Neither of them spoke, and he noticed the boy seemed to be avoiding him. The rest of the day he spend it giving the engines maintenance, and for the first time in weeks, the boy didn't follow him, so he was left alone to think about what had happened.

During dinner he observed the brat, who was unusually quiet, but otherwise seemed fine. Finally, he went to bed not sure of if he liked the change or not. It was around midnight when he heard the knocking on his door. He considered for a second if it could be the brat before deciding it wasn't likely, trew on a pair of pants and opened the door.

It was Ryuichi.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"I wanted to thank you".

"Thank me?"

"Yeah... we'll arrive at Ziridar tomorrow at night won't we? Shuichi isn't one to be discouraged by anything, but he's been feeling so down lately. And then today he seemed to be ok again. I don't know what you did or said to him, but thank you, thank you for giving him some happiness before we depart".

"... You care a lot about him, don't you?"

"For Hiro and me, he is... the most important person in our lives. I only regret I never had the chance to make him happy as you do":

"Do you love him?"

"-sigh- What I feel doesn't matter anymore. He chose you, even if he didn't know he had other chances. And after tomorrow... Ah, never mind that. Just, please, could you spend the rest of the journey with him? I know he annoys you and all, but it would mean a lot to him. Please?"

"He avoided me all day today. What makes you think he wants to spend his last day on the ship with me?"

"Uh? Oh, he's not supposed to talk for three days before the ceremony. He thought it would be too hard for him to keep quiet while being with you, so he stayed in his room most of the day. So, since he has to keep quiet, will you stay with him?"

"I think about it".

"-smile- Have a good night, Eiri-san".

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He waited until everyone was starting his breakfast to signal him the door. He was sitting conveniently in front of him, so all he had to do was give him a small kick on the foot to make him look up. After making sure he was looking, he stared at the door for a second and move his head to make sure he understood.

Two minutes later he announced he was finishing the check on the engines and left the room. Five minutes later, Shuichi left the dinning room alone. He was just entering the main corridor when a hand grabbed him and made him enter a room. A faint gasp was heard before the boy realized it was Eiri who had done that.

"So, you can't say a word now uh?"

Shuichi nodded, unsure of what the other man was thinking.

"Good. We'll take advantage of that".

He was merciless on his attack to the brat's neck, and didn't stop until he felt his nails digging into his back.

"You like that? Wait 'till I'm finished with you".

The boy was blushing hard and shaking slightly, but managed to keep on his feet as the pilot removed their shirts and licked his neck again. Soon, the rest of the clothes were discarded on the floor, as Eiri's mouth took on the job of kissing and licking the chest of the pink haired boy.

Footsteps sounded at the other side of the door and Eiri looked up to see Shuichi's expression. The boy bit his lip a bit harder as the other man pushed himself slowly inside of him. The footsteps continued it's way as Eiri kissed the boy and pushed a bit harder, making Shuichi kiss him harder in return to avoid moaning, his nails digging harder on the blond's back and arms.

The man pushed again, harder and rhythmically, as Shu hold him tighter each time, his face reflecting what his mouth couldn't. In his eyes, the pilot could see the electrifying pleasure that traveled through his body. Finally, with one last push they both came, as they kissed each other fiercely.

They stood there, panting for a moment, before he removed himself of the boy's body. A brief sight was heard and he smirked before kissing his neck again. Shuichi shivered under the caresses of the blond man, and close his eyes in contempt.

They did it again later that day, and though the slams of bodies to a wall resounded through the engine room, the trill of getting caught only made it all more exciting.

It wasn't until the late afternoon, when Eiri thought of asking just what kind of ceremony needed a boy keeping quiet for three days before it. And once he did, he desired he had never cared for the boy and haven't done those stupid mistakes.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He was preparing everything for their arrival to the planet when K entered the cockpit. Eiri just glanced at him before continuing what he was doing.

"There's no need for that now".

Eiri's quick fingers stopped and he turned around to ask. If they were landing on a planet as Ziridar he had to make sure everything would go smoothly.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

K looked at him and the sighed, as he sat on the copilot's chair. For the first time since he had met him, K looked tired and depressed.

"You like that boy, don't you?"

All K got in return was a frown, but that was all he needed. He shook his head and began speaking, his voice so deep and serious Eiri knew something was wrong.

"I didn't thought it would be a problem, you and the boy, considering how good you are to relate to others. Sakano is always busy, so he wouldn't had a chance to know him, and Suguru... well he detests basically everyone, so there was no risk. I had no idea you two would get so... close".

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Phyrinia and Ziridar... they are both planets far behind when it comes to modern beliefs. A long time ago they were on war, until one of the kings of Phyrinia send his only daughter as a ritual sacrifice to the ziridars. Phrynia was loosing the war, and he believe it to be his only chance to save his people. The ziridars accepted the peace offer but..."

Eiri watched him in horror as K told the story. The older man kept looking to the floor, and didn't noticed his expression as he continued.

"Once every ten years, a new sacrifice must be send to them. They used to be from the royal family, but after a while they just send anyone. The chosen one had to be trained and..."

K's voice cracked as he tried to finish. Why had he agreed on taking the boy to his death was beyond him. He had known Shuichi was supposed to be a part of a deal between the two planets, but he had considered it harmless.

It wasn't until the day they had picked them up that he had understood what it all was about. But it was too late. He had already signed the contract and it was well known the phyrinians were not the kind of people you wanted to have trouble with. And even if they hadn't been a problem, the Federation would surely send him and everyone on the ship to jail for not fulfilling the contract.

Jail was not an option, not when his wife and son depended completely of him, and the cousin of the big boss of the company was onboard.

He looked up, only to see Eiri moving towards the door. He shook his head and sighed again.

"It's too late".

"Wha-"

"There are already gone. They took one of the pods half an hour ago... we can't enter the atmosphere, we don't have the authorization.".

Eiri looked at him on rage and began screaming at him. Deep down, he knew that was it. There was no other thing he could do about it.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Eiri-san:

I know you probable hate me right now. I wanted to tell you, I really did but... every moment by your side was like living the life I always dreamed of.

I was so selfish, thinking I deserved at least some happiness before I reached that horrid place. I've never felt this way before, but it was too late. Hiro proposed we escaped, but in that case my sister would've been sent in my place.

Tell me, will you forgive me one day? I hope you do.

You've given me the best month of my life, and I'll love you forever for it. Will you do one last thing for me, even if I don't deserve it? Could you tell Maiko... could you tell her not to look back?

Thank you.

Shuichi.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The hours passed, and he kept remembering the words in his head. The letter laid abandoned on the other side of his bed. Every now and then he watched the clock on his wall and counted how many hours it would be until the boy was definitely gone.

When the clock reached the doomed hour, he just stood there, waiting. A minute passed and he understood it was over. His head fell between his arms as the voice of the pink haired replayed itself in his head.

Not an hour had passed when he heard the loud knocking on his door. He kept quiet, until the voice of the shrimp came from the other side.

"Eiri-san! Come out now, we need you! Come one, it's an emergency!"

He mumbled something in response, but he was cut off by the annoying green shrimp.

"Come on, the spoiled brat's friend has problems!"

He stood there, shocked, before he opened the door.

"What!"

"Come on!" Was all the answer he got, before Suguru grabbed his arm and dragged him to the cockpit.

There, Sakano and K were waiting, looking through the monitor to the pod they had been waiting for. When he entered the room, Sakano was the first one to talk.

"They run out of fuel! We need to rescue them!"

Eiri was about to respond it was none of his business when the voice of the bodyguard came through the radio.

"It's freezing here! Hurry up guys, we won't last long like this!"

He still felt like it was not his problem, but instinct took on and he began doing what he knew best, driving the ship. Picking the pod proved to be more than a little difficult, but by the time he did, everyone else was already at the port, ready to help the others.

He wasn't too keen on helping the men that had taken the brat to his certain death, but with such a small crew there wasn't much option. He arrived to the med room and when he opened the door he received the most shocking view of his life.

There, being hold by his best friend, was Shuichi, just like two days before, if only paler. He heard the others asking questions, but all he heard was the answer to his own.

"Ryuichi he, he drugged him and took his place. They are so alike no one even noticed... When I saw his arm though I knew... Shuichi has this scar and..."

He didn't listen to the rest. He moved forward and caressed slowly the boy's pale face. He smiled and shook his head. Somehow he knew, their trips will never be the same.

* * *

FIN

* * *

There are three reasons why I like this fic:

-It's more focused on Eiri.  
-You don't care about Ryuchi until the very end.  
-It has little to do with theoriginal idea for this fic.

In case anyone has questions be free to email me, leave your mail or a review.

'Till next time!


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